Pariah

PARIAH [puh-rahy-uh] noun

a person driven out of a group or community; an outcast

Word History: The word pariah, which can be used for anyone who is a social outcast, independent of social position, recalls a much more rigid social system, which made only certain people pariahs. The caste system of India placed pariahs, also known as Untouchables, very low in society. The word pariah, which we have extended in meaning, came into English from Tamil paṛaiyar, the plural of paṛaiyan, the caste name, which literally means “(hereditary) drummer” and comes from the word paṛai, the name of a drum used at certain festivals.

Cited: American Heritage Dictionary, Kenerman English Dictionary

 

Pariah

By kfitz

As a young girl i was a member of the Saint Agnes Guild at Trinity Episcopal Church. Each Thursday we wrapped bandages to send off to a Leper Colony in Hawaii. As we wrapped, old Mrs. Clark read us a chapter of O Ye Jigs and Juleps. Each week she reminded us of the importance of our work and how much the Leper’s appreciated it. She explained the Lepers lived all by themselves and told us people were afraid of them because they believed leprosy was contagious. This was my first introduction to the word “pariah.” Sitting there, dutifully wrapping bandages, i never dreamed i’d be a chemically injured pariah and feel as though my life, as i once knew it, had been erased.

With this illness comes great loss, isolation and lack of understanding. The terrain changes as we maneuver around chemical landmines, people’s “forgetfulness” and abliest language. Pariah. Some in the chemically injured community cringe at the word, are even offended it by it. I have chosen to embrace it, to turn it inside out and find the beauty. As much as this illness has taken away it has also given. The lessons learned have not been easy and the journey is far from over. My world is decidedly more narrow, slower and more peaceful. I’m no longer caught like a hamster in a wheel and there is freedom in that. My life is still rich and full. There is still laugher, joy and beauty. Pariah, a 21st century canary. Of course there are also tears, sadness and the ugliness of disregard. For most people we are too much trouble to be around. My parents home is toxic so i can no longer go “home.” But even if it were safe, my mother doesn’t feel it’s right to ask my siblings to go without their chemicals. My own brother felt his use of deodorant more important than forgoing it for one day to come and celebrate my new marriage. And the last time i visited a friend i nearly passed out on her toilet from all the chemicals in the room and haven’t heard from her since. [she kept saying "i'm afraid i'm going to kill you."] So i am left out, an outsider, a pariah. Navigating this illness is no easy feat. You need a strong sense of self to survive.

Far too many in our community have been killed because of chemical injury. But the deaths have typically been the result of secondary complications from Chromic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, end-organ failure, cancer, MS, Parkinsons Gulf War Syndrome, neurological, cardiovascular or respiratory disorders along with PTSD and a host of other extremely serious health issues from repeated chemical assaults. 12% of those afflicted with chemical injuries will succumb to suicide. Living within the confines of this illness it’s not hard to understand why. Like many before us who bore the brunt of a new DISease [CFS, Fibromyalgia, etc] many in our community have been denied disability. Judges, without proper information and medically untrained, make these decisions. Fortunately, more and more doctors are becoming increasingly aware that yes, this is indeed, a serious illness affecting 16% of the population. [Diabetics affect 6%.] Not only are we Pariahs and canaries but trail blazers as well! Many, like myself, have no health insurance or the financial resources needed to seek proper, regular medical treatment from an environmental doctor. Even with insurance most are denied access to the kind of care they need.

Which is why we launched Pariah, A Healing Journal. It is our hope our journal will empower others to take their health into their own hands. Time honored healing is our right, it is subversive, radical, frugal, and often growing right outside our own back doors, no insurance required. I hope you will be inspired to try a daily infusion of stinging nettles, plant a few of your own seeds, clear out some clutter or do nothing at all.